Contacting Self-as-Context or Observer Self

When life gets challenging, we often get fused with a narrow sense of self that is defined by our current difficulties. We might feel like we're "losing ourselves" or that we'll be "broken" by what we're going through (Smith-MacDonald, 2022).

However, there is an essential "you" that remains constant throughout your life, no matter the context. This is what we call the "self-as-context" (Hayes et al., 2011) - the "I" that is present and unchanged, even as your life circumstances shift.

Connecting with self-as-context allows you to:

Hold your self-stories lightly, without being defined by them
Experience yourself as impermanent, complex, and ever-changing
Adapt to new contexts while maintaining a stable sense of self

O Beloved, look around
You are not some local appearance.
You are the bright blue sky,
The wine dark waters,
A vast ocean!
The drowning place of a thousand little “i’s”.—Rumi

To tap into self-as-context, try this exercise (Hayes, 2019):

Write down three "I am" statements about yourself (2 positive, 1 negative).
For each statement, ask:
- Is this true all the time, without exception?
- Would everyone agree?
- Add "or not" to the end of the statement.
Cross out the descriptive words. Who would you be without those stories?
Replace "I am" with "I am aware of..." or "My awareness contains..."

This shifts perspective from being defined by your stories to being the context in which those stories occur. You are not your thoughts - you are the awareness that contains them.

With practice, connecting with self-as-context can foster flexibility, resilience, and a more expansive sense of self, even in the face of life's challenges.

Zebra Question
By Shel Silverstein
I asked the zebra
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.
I'll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.

For Further Exploration:

Here is a Video from VA about Observing Self

Russ Harris helps us understand observing self through a chessboard metaphor

Dr. Rick Hanson does an excellent job bringing in concepts of neuroscience and Buddhism into this idea of self. Check out some of his work.

References:

Hayes, S. C. (2019). A liberated mind: How to pivot toward what matters. Avery.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. Guilford Press.

Smith-MacDonald L., Lusk J., Lee-Baggley D., Bright K., Laidlaw A., Voth M., Spencer S., Cruikshank E., Pike A., Jones C., Bremault-Phillips S. (2022). Companions in the Abyss: A Feasibility and Acceptability Study of an Online Therapy Group for Healthcare Providers Working During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12: 801680.

Self-as-Context vs Self-as-Content